Okay so people lately i have been realizing things about myself. when i have a problem (usually guy problems) lol i stress it and try to make things right you know, but it seems like the more i try the less i get. Truthfully i am SOFT as hell lol the littlest things hurt me. I could be talking to a guy for two days but if he leave me after those two days i would most likely cry and then go blog about it, then put in my status that i wrote a new blog, hoping that he would see and go read my blog and then magically have a change of heart and call my cell phone and profess his undying love for me lmao yes thats my fantasty. its that serious with me. Hopeless romantic is not the word! more like passive aggressive obsessive compulsive romantic. And the thing about this is that i admit it. I know i do crazy things for love. i know that i go hard so to say. and i let these guys know! In my besty's terms "they signed up for this". And yet they still apply early, resume in hand lol They forget that they 'bagged' me regardless of all the baggage i tell them that i come with. in the first day that i start messing with a guy, i hear a thousand stories.. stories about where he be, who he with, what he did, how he is, who he is...things that i myself never knew was physically possible. they be Like ahem 'i saw so and so in queens with so and so doing so and so" and im like SO!!!!!
when will i finally find something real to rest my head on. like somebody who wont hold it against me when i just need someone to hold me. someone who has no problem everytime i wanna be wined and dined, taken out on a friday night to spend a little time.
I aint Gonna beg you:
-everytime i need someone to be there when i had me one of them crazy days
-everytime i want someone to treat me like they always said they were gonna treat me like
-everytime i need some huggin and some lovin' but your busy so i don't get nothing
I am so sick of being patient...i am NOT here for you to take it when you want to take it. You guys are WEAK...not in the sense of strength but if you cannot handle a girl taking care of you, holding you down, wanting the best for you, supporting you with the constructive things that you do, plus having everything that you can possibly want in a chick DONT HIT ME UP! I am too fragile for Games ={ ..and yall wonder why i read my books lol
Why the helll does it seem like i am the only person in the whole entire world who is never happy!? I build myself up only to be broken down again. I burn bridges only to be stranded. I sacrifice, Utilize, stigmatize, sensualize and antagonize myself, all for the happiness and well being for that special guy. If i had a dime for every guy that played, lied, cheated, hurt, disrespected, led on, and left me...i would be one Rich chick. I spend so much time canonizing these guys that i forget to appreciate myself. I set high expectations, and notice potential in people that would rather do dirt then do right. And trust me i am not trying to change you when i give suggestions about the things that i do and do not like for a guy to do..i am simply trying to help you better yourself. Obviously there is a light that i see in you and i want to make it my responsibility to keep that light shining and/or make it illuminate more. That is my duty as your girl/ Girl that is interested in you. It seems like i bring a full coarse meal to the table, but they would rather the fast food. It is all so confusing. And then they complain that there aren't any good women left...I wonder why
-why is it that when us females try our best to satisfy and be everything that a guy wants, this is when they dont want you? I thought that maybe we make ourselvess too available or is it basically that they just aren't interested? But if that is so..howcome they never seem to let that be known from the start?I understand that sometimes it seems like things are moving too fast or you may be confused..but let me work with you, especially if im trying my hardest to be apart of your life.
